This week has been a rough one, to say the absolute least. I was driving home from class Tuesday evening when I received a phone call that left me in complete disbelief. During that call I was informed that a good friend of mine took his life earlier that afternoon. I could not even process the information. Why would he do such a thing? Why now? Why Josh? A million thoughts ran through my head.
I immediately met up with the group. These guys are unlike any collection of friends I’ve ever met. They call each other the “C.O.T.”. For the most part, they have all been the absolute best of friends since kindergarten. They are way past best friends, though; they are their own brotherhood. The bond they share with one another is so strong, and so beautiful.
On Wednesday night, Josh’s fraternity at UCSB held a candle lighting vigil to celebrate his life. Being there was so surreal. I had attended these types of events in the past, but never for someone I cared about this much. I just couldn’t believe it was all happening. I thought I was in a bad dream. I wanted to open my eyes, and have it all be over. I opened them, and it was still happening.
There were so many people, so much love. Josh had a personality different than any other. Oh, man. When Josh smiled, everyone smiled. His positivity and happiness was infectious, there were no bad times with that kid. He truly was one-of-a-kind. He affected so many lives. So many people loved him. It’s sad to see someone with so much potential go so early.
I love you, Josh. I will miss you infinitely. Every time I’m outside, I’ll look up to the sky and know that you’re watching over us. When I’m out in nature, I’ll feel your presence there with me. Rest in peace, buddy. You da best!


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Couldn’t have said that more beautifully. You’re an amazing person and friend.