Good morning! So, I was going to write my blog’s ‘about me’ page back in October when I first started, but I got a little busy. And now it’s almost June. Oops. We all know I hate writing about myself (hah) so, I’m turing it over to my readers. All twelve of you (HI, MADDY AND ALYSSA). I already have my first submission from a dear friend of mine, Bryan Breverman. I won’t use his middle name so he can remain anonymous. As far as submissions go, I’m down for whatever. Seriously. Have fun with it! You won’t hurt my feelings, I swear. I don’t even know how to cry. Fuck it, you can use profanity, go hog wild! Either post your winning bio as a comment, or e-mail it to me (firstname.lastname@example.org). Either will do just fine. Let’s shoot for anywhere between 100-500 words. You don’t have to know me to participate. In fact, I hope all you weird internet stalker people submit something. Even if it’s a picture of a container of Chinese food that’s been spreading disease in your fridge for three weeks. I don’t care, just submit something.
Hooray! I’m excited. May the odds be ever in your favor (I know, so last month, whatever).
Without further adieu/ado (I don’t know which is correct, do you?) Bryan’s submission. I really like it, so good luck beating it. Way to set the bar high, dude!
Born in 1665, Victoria Jeanette was raised by circus bears that had escaped from the infamous Kishaw Brother’s show. The bears lived a fascinating life, but that tale is for another day. As a youthful spirit, Victoria enjoyed frolicking in her vast gardens (she was once enrolled in a frolicking course where she learned such skills). As the years progressed, this spirited young woman began to read works by such famous authors as Earnest Hemingway, J.K. Rowling, and Emily Dickens. It was these collections which have since inspired, driven, and motivated her to become the author that you see, nay read, before you.
As a lively 355 year old lady, Victoria now enjoys eating Taco Bell. Seriously, that’s like all she eats, it’s weird, dude.
Thank you for coming to her blog, and here’s to another 355 years of happiness, Taco Bell, frolicking, and blogging.